1. Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A: To get his quarterback!
2. There were five birds on a roof. A hunter shot three. How many were left on the roof?
A: None, because they flew away.
3. Imagine you are in a boat. There are crocodiles everywhere. They snap your boat in half. You are sinking. They are about to bite you. What do you do?
A: Stop imagining!
4. The more there is of me, the harder it is to see, what could I be?
A: darkness
5. I have a head, a tail, but never any legs. What am I.?
A. a coin
6. I run but never walk, I sometimes murmur but never talk, I have a bed but never sleep and I have a mouth but never eat.What am I?
A: a river
7. Hit me hard and I will crack, but you'll never stop me from staring back.What am I?
A: a mirror
8. There is a green house, in side of the green house there is a White House, inside of the White House there is a red house, inside of the red house there are a lot of babies. What am I?
A: a watermelon
9. What type of nut has a hole?
A: a doughnut
10. You can catch me but not throw me. What am I?
A: a cold
11. The longer you hold me, the harder it is to hold me, but I am not heavy. What am I?
A: your breath
12. I travel around the world but I stay in the corner. What am I?
A: A stamp on an envelope
13. What has three feet and no legs.
A: A yardstick
14. What is in seasons, seconds, centuries and minutes but not in decades, years or days?
A: The letter 'n'
15. I am always hungry, I must always be fed, the finger I touch, will soon turn red. What am I?
A: fire
16. What's the point of using a flat pencil?
A: It's pointless!
17. What starts with T, ends with T, and has T in it.
A: a teapot
18. Until I am measured I am not known, yet how you miss me when I have flown. What am I?
A: Time
19. Each morning I appear to lie at your feet, all day I follow no matter how fast you run, yet I nearly perish in the midday sun. What am I?
A: a shadow
20. Glittering points that downward thrust, Sparkling spears that never rust. What am I?
A: an icicle
21. I can be short or can be long. I can be bought or can be grown. I can be painted or can be bare. I can be round or can be square. What am I?
A: a fingernail
22. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants when he went golfing?
A: In case he got a whole-in-one!
A: To get his quarterback!
2. There were five birds on a roof. A hunter shot three. How many were left on the roof?
A: None, because they flew away.
3. Imagine you are in a boat. There are crocodiles everywhere. They snap your boat in half. You are sinking. They are about to bite you. What do you do?
A: Stop imagining!
4. The more there is of me, the harder it is to see, what could I be?
A: darkness
5. I have a head, a tail, but never any legs. What am I.?
A. a coin
6. I run but never walk, I sometimes murmur but never talk, I have a bed but never sleep and I have a mouth but never eat.What am I?
A: a river
7. Hit me hard and I will crack, but you'll never stop me from staring back.What am I?
A: a mirror
8. There is a green house, in side of the green house there is a White House, inside of the White House there is a red house, inside of the red house there are a lot of babies. What am I?
A: a watermelon
9. What type of nut has a hole?
A: a doughnut
10. You can catch me but not throw me. What am I?
A: a cold
11. The longer you hold me, the harder it is to hold me, but I am not heavy. What am I?
A: your breath
12. I travel around the world but I stay in the corner. What am I?
A: A stamp on an envelope
13. What has three feet and no legs.
A: A yardstick
14. What is in seasons, seconds, centuries and minutes but not in decades, years or days?
A: The letter 'n'
15. I am always hungry, I must always be fed, the finger I touch, will soon turn red. What am I?
A: fire
16. What's the point of using a flat pencil?
A: It's pointless!
17. What starts with T, ends with T, and has T in it.
A: a teapot
18. Until I am measured I am not known, yet how you miss me when I have flown. What am I?
A: Time
19. Each morning I appear to lie at your feet, all day I follow no matter how fast you run, yet I nearly perish in the midday sun. What am I?
A: a shadow
20. Glittering points that downward thrust, Sparkling spears that never rust. What am I?
A: an icicle
21. I can be short or can be long. I can be bought or can be grown. I can be painted or can be bare. I can be round or can be square. What am I?
A: a fingernail
22. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants when he went golfing?
A: In case he got a whole-in-one!